Fic: Just Desserts Arc: Sticky Buns
Jun. 10th, 2008 07:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
conjure_lassAuthor: Conjure Lass!
Title: Sticky Buns
Rating: This one would be NC-17 most likely.
Pairing: Uraichi (though this is some solo action for Urahara)
Warnings: Bad language, masturbation, very bad humour on my part...
Summary: In an effort to make his and Ichigo's first time "perfect" our dear Urahara (ever the scientist) decides to try out a few personal lubricants.
Author's Note: This ties into my Just Desserts arc somewhere between the second and third (not yet written) chapter. If you want to read the other chapters of this please direct yourself Here to my fiction index.
The shop was dark and quiet as Urahara slowly pushed open the back door and slipped inside, glancing around nervously before pulling his hat down further over his eyes. He’d had to go shopping after everyone else had retired to their rooms for the night, not having wanted to explain the strange assortment of items that he would be bringing home. True, he could have just not allowed them to see what was in the bag, but the children were notorious for sneaking peeks at things that they shouldn’t be. Tessai wasn’t exactly lax in the nosiness department either.
Because really…how the hell would he explain why he had an entire sack filled with twelve different types of personal lubricant?!
Kisuke left his sandals by the door to pad barefoot across the wooden floors, holding his breath when he snuck past Ururu and Jinta’s room in the hopes that neither child would decide now was a good time for a drink of water. Finally he reached the safety of his own bedroom, shutting the door and locking it securely behind him. Thank the gods. Breathing deeply in relief, he turned towards his futon with an appraising look. How did he want to go about doing this? Did he want to put on some soft music? Light some candles? Set the mood for himself?
In the end he decided against any of that, coming to the conclusion that if he got too in the mood that he might not be able to form an objective opinion about the lubes he was about to test. Hell, he might not even remember which lube he’d been using.
Crawling onto his soft bedding, he lay down on his stomach and threw his hat onto the table nearby, dumping the contents of the bag out in front of him. Every bottle was a different shape, a different size, and he rolled each with his finger, cocking his head to the side as he surveyed each one’s unique color. Suddenly, a brilliant idea came to him and he reached into the drawer near his futon to bring out a soft lilac (it was Ururu’s…honest) notepad, scribbling down words like “durability”, “texture”, and “flavour” next to the name of each lube. This would be perfect. This way could easily weight the pros and cons of each lubricant and make a comprehensive decision as to which would be the best for his and Ichigo’s first time together.
He paused at the thought of that, rolling onto his back for a moment and pulling his haori jacket off his shoulders, leaving it to wrinkle on the floor. Slowly he moved his hand to the sash of his shirt, letting it fall open before his fingers trailed up his chest and into his hair to tug at it frustratingly. How many times had he imagined Ichigo writhing underneath him in the past few months? How many times had he awoken from dreams of burning eyes the color of jasper staring up at him, glazed over with passion?
Urahara, as patient of a man as he imagined himself to be, was starting to falter just a little bit. Each time Ichigo coiled into him, warm and affectionate and tempting, he found his self-control wavering. He likened his willpower to a still pond with Ichigo being a stone dropped in the center, disturbing the calm with ever expanding ripples. It was starting to take everything he had to keep his touches innocent, to keep their kisses from becoming more, to stop from ripping every shred of clothing off Ichigo’s body and just…
No! No, no, no…better not to think of those sorts of things! Ichigo was slowly coming around, each lingering touch was bringing him closer to the edge, but Kisuke didn’t want to pressure him into doing more before he was ready. It would be all the sweeter when the younger man gave into the sexual tension of his own free will. Urahara could wait…besides…he still had to finish this little experiment of his.
With that he turned back over onto his belly, grabbing the first bottle he saw and peering at it. Cherry flavored. The smell of some kind of artificial fruit made his nose wrinkle as he popped open the lid, smearing a few drops of the pink liquid onto his fingers and licking at it delicately. Not too bad actually. Not too sweet, not too bitter, tasted vaguely like cherries. But much to his dismay it was already drying, leaving his skin a little tacky, not really allowing for much slide. Nope. This wouldn’t work. He tossed it aside.
The next two lubes went the same way, one going dry in a matter of seconds while the other turned into such a gooey mess that it felt like he’d blown his nose in his hands. His mouth twisted in a disgusted grimace as strings of lube pulled between his fingers, sucking at his skin and basically just being…gross. He couldn’t possibly put that between his beloved Ichigo’s legs! They’d get stuck together!
Kisuke decided that the next lube (having passed the initial tests) would have to be examined more thoroughly…which is to say he needed to get out of his clothes. Not wasting any time, he divested himself of his pants and shirt, settling more comfortably on his back and staring up at the ceiling momentarily. If anyone ever knew he was doing this he’d probably never live it down. Thank god he’d locked the door…thank god everyone was asleep…thank god for 24 hour sex shops that one could patron at two in the morning without looking too tremendously odd.
Okay, enough pointless thinking…time to get on with it.
He squirted a bit more onto his fingers, rubbing it around and grinning at the feel of his tingling skin that accompanied the action. Tingling lubricant. Normal humans really were inventive little things when it came to sex, weren’t they? Amused, Kisuke slowly closed his eyes, moving his fingertips down past his cock, lifting his hips and spreading his thighs to get a better angle. He bit at his bottom lip when he ghosted over the top of his opening, pushing his index finger in with a nearly inaudible hiss. The tingling…wasn’t as pleasant down there. It was almost overwhelming, almost a pain rather than a pleasure. Ichigo would probably freak out and run away if Kisuke tried to use it on him! Something a little less kinky was definitely in order.
After experimenting with a few more bottles, Kisuke was starting to wonder if perhaps he shouldn’t just make his own lubricant and spare himself all this trouble. Either they were too thick or too thin, nasty tasting or so foul smelling that he thought he might pass out from the odor. One of them had been so slick that he was almost certain he would fly right off Ichigo in the heat of the moment! And wouldn’t that just be something to remember? Making love to Ichigo, watching his face become a mask of pleasure, mere seconds from climax, when suddenly Urahara would slip and go hurtling towards the floor. Mortifying. Nope…that definitely wouldn’t do.
Finally he was left with two varieties, a burning lubricant and one called Eros. Kisuke put his head back on the pillow and took a deep breath, trying to think of something that would calm his raging libido. All this “research” was really starting to get to him, and he found himself so hard that he didn’t know how much longer he could keep a clear head. He’d already pulled a small vibrator (real men weren’t afraid of a little penetration) from its place in his bedside drawer, having coated it twice with different lubricants before washing it with a cloth he’d brought from the bathroom. It was good to know how it would feel inside the body, made the tests more accurate.
Not to mention it was fun…which was part of the reason he needed to calm down.
Once he thought he had a hold on himself again, he forced a bit of the burning lube onto his fingers and waited. There was a faint feverish sensation, but nothing terrible. Not bad. Looking down at his soaked hand (were his fingers getting pruney from all this lube?) he moved it down towards his erection, coating the soft skin while whimpering slightly at the long strokes he was “forced” to give it (for even coverage of course). Gods he was starting to lose it. He didn’t think he was going to be able to manage the last lube…he was just too turned on…too hard. He could barely think!
In fact, he was so caught up in the waves of pleasure coming from his hand that it took a moment to notice that the lube was…heating up. A lot. Actually…it was starting to hurt. Quite a bit. Gray eyes shot wide, Kisuke’s mouth falling open in shock. Holy shit! In a flash he was up on his feet and making a mad dash for the bathroom, feeling certain that he was going to die at any moment. His cock was on fire!! What the hell was in this lube?! Magma??
Since he was already naked it made things a lot easier as he turned on the showerhead near the tub and stood under the spray, his face a mask of pain and humiliation. HothothothotHOT!! His cock was so hot!! Kisuke growled in his throat when the burning didn’t go away fast enough, grabbing the showerhead from its place and moving it down towards himself to try to wash the vile, nasty, disgusting, evil stuff off his erection before it made it melt off his body. Soap! Maybe he needed that! Something! Anything!!
An eternity passed before Urahara was able to take a sigh of relief, nestling securely into the hot water of the tub and leaning his head against the wall. Gods he was exhausted! All that experimenting (and having his cock nearly reduced to ashes) had really taken its toll on him. And all for naught. He hadn’t found one brand of lubricant that suited his and Ichigo’s needs. Nothing was good enough! Kisuke flicked the surface of the water in an irritated way, knowing now that he was going to have to invent something himself. He could just hear Tessai now asking what he was making…and then he’d have to come up with some lame excuse…or tell the truth.
Lame excuse ahoy!
But it would be worth it for Ichigo, he decided with a smile. The thought of the redhead once again sent a tiny shiver up his spine, his legs spreading involuntarily as his hand brushed down the plane of his stomach. It was going to be so good. Little waves began splashing around the bathtub as Kisuke wrapped his hand around his cock, biting down on his bottom lip and stroking himself firmly. He really shouldn’t have been doing this in the bath, but he couldn’t seem to stop as fantastic images began forming in his mind.
Ichigo, his cheeks flushed and eyes needy, pushing the side of his face into the pillow to try to hide his desire…so innocent…
Kisuke gasped, the first bit of water dripping down onto the floor in response to his body‘s movements. His hand working more quickly now, adam’s apple bobbing with each hard swallow, bringing him speedily to the edge. This was going to be fast. He’d been basically masturbating for the past hour, so it wasn’t as though he needed to really turn himself on much. His body, though startled for a moment by the burning lube, was now back to the point it had been at before he’d applied it. He was ready…all he needed was a few choice mental images to push him easily over the edge.
Ichigo’s back arching as Kisuke ran his tongue along his spine, licking at the moisture he found there and biting at the back of the younger man’s neck…
Not long now…now long now…everything was tapering down to a thin band of pleasure. Nothing else existed except the feel of the warm water splashing up against his chest, the contractions in his belly constricting blissfully, his heavy breathing, and Ichigo…in his mind…doing things that were absolutely obscene.
“Just like that…don‘t stop,” Ichigo moaned, his fingers digging into Kisuke’s arm so hard that it hurt a little…so good…
Oh gods…Kisuke wanted him so badly. There was no one else but Ichigo. Somehow the young man had wiped away everyone else on Earth and left Kisuke desperate for his affections. There was no more humiliation involved…Urahara simply wanted him. Every part. All the time. Exclusively and without reservation. His head was flung back, smacking a little against the tile wall but he barely felt it.
“Kisuke…”
And he was undone, groaning brokenly as he released himself into his hand and the water surrounding it, sinking down further into the tub. The orgasm seemed to last a long time, making him jerk a bit, sending more water down to soak the floor, before finally ebbing away. His green-gray eyes opened languidly, drawing himself up out of the water to sit a little straighter. If the fantasies of Ichigo were this good, Kisuke could only imagine what the real thing would be like. A smile lit his features at the thought, climbing tiredly to the shower and washing off what remained of the sticky white fluid that the bath hadn’t gotten off. He drained the tub before he went to the door, pulling it open with a yawn…
TESSAI!!??
The larger man had his fist raised as though he were about to knock, their eyes meeting before Kisuke jumped backward and grabbed a towel to cover his nakedness. His face was ablaze, unable to stop it, the situation too abrupt and himself too tired to cover his reaction. When had Tessai come into the room? And why hadn’t he felt it? “What the? What are you? I thought…why are you in my bedroom!?”
“I…,” Tessai mumbled, his face shadowed with surprise. “I heard noises and came to make sure…um…you were all right…,”
“I’m fine!” Urahara nearly squeaked, pushing past the taller man only to freeze as he stared down at his futon. All the lube was still out, his vibrator sat on top of the sheets, and the entire bed was a complete mess. The gods hated him…absolutely hated him. This was some kind of cruel punishment for his supposed crimes.
“Yes sir,” Tessai mumbled, moving towards the bedroom door while pointedly not looking at the futon. Kisuke refused to look at him, staring at his wall (the one covered with pictures of the kids, old pictures of Isshin and Yoruichi, pictures of Ichigo), willing the deep blush to go away.
“Boss?” Tessai opened the door and stepped through.
“Yes?” Kisuke answered, forcing his voice to be calmer than he felt.
“Am I to assume that we’ll be making lubricant sometime in the next few weeks?”
“Tessai?”
“Yes sir?”
“Shut the door.”
Thank you![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
chibicoffee for helping me come up with the title! You are a master pervert!! Rainbow Division 4-EVER!!
XOXOXOXOXOXOXX
Cherry
Title: Sticky Buns
Rating: This one would be NC-17 most likely.
Pairing: Uraichi (though this is some solo action for Urahara)
Warnings: Bad language, masturbation, very bad humour on my part...
Summary: In an effort to make his and Ichigo's first time "perfect" our dear Urahara (ever the scientist) decides to try out a few personal lubricants.
Author's Note: This ties into my Just Desserts arc somewhere between the second and third (not yet written) chapter. If you want to read the other chapters of this please direct yourself Here to my fiction index.
The shop was dark and quiet as Urahara slowly pushed open the back door and slipped inside, glancing around nervously before pulling his hat down further over his eyes. He’d had to go shopping after everyone else had retired to their rooms for the night, not having wanted to explain the strange assortment of items that he would be bringing home. True, he could have just not allowed them to see what was in the bag, but the children were notorious for sneaking peeks at things that they shouldn’t be. Tessai wasn’t exactly lax in the nosiness department either.
Because really…how the hell would he explain why he had an entire sack filled with twelve different types of personal lubricant?!
Kisuke left his sandals by the door to pad barefoot across the wooden floors, holding his breath when he snuck past Ururu and Jinta’s room in the hopes that neither child would decide now was a good time for a drink of water. Finally he reached the safety of his own bedroom, shutting the door and locking it securely behind him. Thank the gods. Breathing deeply in relief, he turned towards his futon with an appraising look. How did he want to go about doing this? Did he want to put on some soft music? Light some candles? Set the mood for himself?
In the end he decided against any of that, coming to the conclusion that if he got too in the mood that he might not be able to form an objective opinion about the lubes he was about to test. Hell, he might not even remember which lube he’d been using.
Crawling onto his soft bedding, he lay down on his stomach and threw his hat onto the table nearby, dumping the contents of the bag out in front of him. Every bottle was a different shape, a different size, and he rolled each with his finger, cocking his head to the side as he surveyed each one’s unique color. Suddenly, a brilliant idea came to him and he reached into the drawer near his futon to bring out a soft lilac (it was Ururu’s…honest) notepad, scribbling down words like “durability”, “texture”, and “flavour” next to the name of each lube. This would be perfect. This way could easily weight the pros and cons of each lubricant and make a comprehensive decision as to which would be the best for his and Ichigo’s first time together.
He paused at the thought of that, rolling onto his back for a moment and pulling his haori jacket off his shoulders, leaving it to wrinkle on the floor. Slowly he moved his hand to the sash of his shirt, letting it fall open before his fingers trailed up his chest and into his hair to tug at it frustratingly. How many times had he imagined Ichigo writhing underneath him in the past few months? How many times had he awoken from dreams of burning eyes the color of jasper staring up at him, glazed over with passion?
Urahara, as patient of a man as he imagined himself to be, was starting to falter just a little bit. Each time Ichigo coiled into him, warm and affectionate and tempting, he found his self-control wavering. He likened his willpower to a still pond with Ichigo being a stone dropped in the center, disturbing the calm with ever expanding ripples. It was starting to take everything he had to keep his touches innocent, to keep their kisses from becoming more, to stop from ripping every shred of clothing off Ichigo’s body and just…
No! No, no, no…better not to think of those sorts of things! Ichigo was slowly coming around, each lingering touch was bringing him closer to the edge, but Kisuke didn’t want to pressure him into doing more before he was ready. It would be all the sweeter when the younger man gave into the sexual tension of his own free will. Urahara could wait…besides…he still had to finish this little experiment of his.
With that he turned back over onto his belly, grabbing the first bottle he saw and peering at it. Cherry flavored. The smell of some kind of artificial fruit made his nose wrinkle as he popped open the lid, smearing a few drops of the pink liquid onto his fingers and licking at it delicately. Not too bad actually. Not too sweet, not too bitter, tasted vaguely like cherries. But much to his dismay it was already drying, leaving his skin a little tacky, not really allowing for much slide. Nope. This wouldn’t work. He tossed it aside.
The next two lubes went the same way, one going dry in a matter of seconds while the other turned into such a gooey mess that it felt like he’d blown his nose in his hands. His mouth twisted in a disgusted grimace as strings of lube pulled between his fingers, sucking at his skin and basically just being…gross. He couldn’t possibly put that between his beloved Ichigo’s legs! They’d get stuck together!
Kisuke decided that the next lube (having passed the initial tests) would have to be examined more thoroughly…which is to say he needed to get out of his clothes. Not wasting any time, he divested himself of his pants and shirt, settling more comfortably on his back and staring up at the ceiling momentarily. If anyone ever knew he was doing this he’d probably never live it down. Thank god he’d locked the door…thank god everyone was asleep…thank god for 24 hour sex shops that one could patron at two in the morning without looking too tremendously odd.
Okay, enough pointless thinking…time to get on with it.
He squirted a bit more onto his fingers, rubbing it around and grinning at the feel of his tingling skin that accompanied the action. Tingling lubricant. Normal humans really were inventive little things when it came to sex, weren’t they? Amused, Kisuke slowly closed his eyes, moving his fingertips down past his cock, lifting his hips and spreading his thighs to get a better angle. He bit at his bottom lip when he ghosted over the top of his opening, pushing his index finger in with a nearly inaudible hiss. The tingling…wasn’t as pleasant down there. It was almost overwhelming, almost a pain rather than a pleasure. Ichigo would probably freak out and run away if Kisuke tried to use it on him! Something a little less kinky was definitely in order.
After experimenting with a few more bottles, Kisuke was starting to wonder if perhaps he shouldn’t just make his own lubricant and spare himself all this trouble. Either they were too thick or too thin, nasty tasting or so foul smelling that he thought he might pass out from the odor. One of them had been so slick that he was almost certain he would fly right off Ichigo in the heat of the moment! And wouldn’t that just be something to remember? Making love to Ichigo, watching his face become a mask of pleasure, mere seconds from climax, when suddenly Urahara would slip and go hurtling towards the floor. Mortifying. Nope…that definitely wouldn’t do.
Finally he was left with two varieties, a burning lubricant and one called Eros. Kisuke put his head back on the pillow and took a deep breath, trying to think of something that would calm his raging libido. All this “research” was really starting to get to him, and he found himself so hard that he didn’t know how much longer he could keep a clear head. He’d already pulled a small vibrator (real men weren’t afraid of a little penetration) from its place in his bedside drawer, having coated it twice with different lubricants before washing it with a cloth he’d brought from the bathroom. It was good to know how it would feel inside the body, made the tests more accurate.
Not to mention it was fun…which was part of the reason he needed to calm down.
Once he thought he had a hold on himself again, he forced a bit of the burning lube onto his fingers and waited. There was a faint feverish sensation, but nothing terrible. Not bad. Looking down at his soaked hand (were his fingers getting pruney from all this lube?) he moved it down towards his erection, coating the soft skin while whimpering slightly at the long strokes he was “forced” to give it (for even coverage of course). Gods he was starting to lose it. He didn’t think he was going to be able to manage the last lube…he was just too turned on…too hard. He could barely think!
In fact, he was so caught up in the waves of pleasure coming from his hand that it took a moment to notice that the lube was…heating up. A lot. Actually…it was starting to hurt. Quite a bit. Gray eyes shot wide, Kisuke’s mouth falling open in shock. Holy shit! In a flash he was up on his feet and making a mad dash for the bathroom, feeling certain that he was going to die at any moment. His cock was on fire!! What the hell was in this lube?! Magma??
Since he was already naked it made things a lot easier as he turned on the showerhead near the tub and stood under the spray, his face a mask of pain and humiliation. HothothothotHOT!! His cock was so hot!! Kisuke growled in his throat when the burning didn’t go away fast enough, grabbing the showerhead from its place and moving it down towards himself to try to wash the vile, nasty, disgusting, evil stuff off his erection before it made it melt off his body. Soap! Maybe he needed that! Something! Anything!!
An eternity passed before Urahara was able to take a sigh of relief, nestling securely into the hot water of the tub and leaning his head against the wall. Gods he was exhausted! All that experimenting (and having his cock nearly reduced to ashes) had really taken its toll on him. And all for naught. He hadn’t found one brand of lubricant that suited his and Ichigo’s needs. Nothing was good enough! Kisuke flicked the surface of the water in an irritated way, knowing now that he was going to have to invent something himself. He could just hear Tessai now asking what he was making…and then he’d have to come up with some lame excuse…or tell the truth.
Lame excuse ahoy!
But it would be worth it for Ichigo, he decided with a smile. The thought of the redhead once again sent a tiny shiver up his spine, his legs spreading involuntarily as his hand brushed down the plane of his stomach. It was going to be so good. Little waves began splashing around the bathtub as Kisuke wrapped his hand around his cock, biting down on his bottom lip and stroking himself firmly. He really shouldn’t have been doing this in the bath, but he couldn’t seem to stop as fantastic images began forming in his mind.
Ichigo, his cheeks flushed and eyes needy, pushing the side of his face into the pillow to try to hide his desire…so innocent…
Kisuke gasped, the first bit of water dripping down onto the floor in response to his body‘s movements. His hand working more quickly now, adam’s apple bobbing with each hard swallow, bringing him speedily to the edge. This was going to be fast. He’d been basically masturbating for the past hour, so it wasn’t as though he needed to really turn himself on much. His body, though startled for a moment by the burning lube, was now back to the point it had been at before he’d applied it. He was ready…all he needed was a few choice mental images to push him easily over the edge.
Ichigo’s back arching as Kisuke ran his tongue along his spine, licking at the moisture he found there and biting at the back of the younger man’s neck…
Not long now…now long now…everything was tapering down to a thin band of pleasure. Nothing else existed except the feel of the warm water splashing up against his chest, the contractions in his belly constricting blissfully, his heavy breathing, and Ichigo…in his mind…doing things that were absolutely obscene.
“Just like that…don‘t stop,” Ichigo moaned, his fingers digging into Kisuke’s arm so hard that it hurt a little…so good…
Oh gods…Kisuke wanted him so badly. There was no one else but Ichigo. Somehow the young man had wiped away everyone else on Earth and left Kisuke desperate for his affections. There was no more humiliation involved…Urahara simply wanted him. Every part. All the time. Exclusively and without reservation. His head was flung back, smacking a little against the tile wall but he barely felt it.
“Kisuke…”
And he was undone, groaning brokenly as he released himself into his hand and the water surrounding it, sinking down further into the tub. The orgasm seemed to last a long time, making him jerk a bit, sending more water down to soak the floor, before finally ebbing away. His green-gray eyes opened languidly, drawing himself up out of the water to sit a little straighter. If the fantasies of Ichigo were this good, Kisuke could only imagine what the real thing would be like. A smile lit his features at the thought, climbing tiredly to the shower and washing off what remained of the sticky white fluid that the bath hadn’t gotten off. He drained the tub before he went to the door, pulling it open with a yawn…
TESSAI!!??
The larger man had his fist raised as though he were about to knock, their eyes meeting before Kisuke jumped backward and grabbed a towel to cover his nakedness. His face was ablaze, unable to stop it, the situation too abrupt and himself too tired to cover his reaction. When had Tessai come into the room? And why hadn’t he felt it? “What the? What are you? I thought…why are you in my bedroom!?”
“I…,” Tessai mumbled, his face shadowed with surprise. “I heard noises and came to make sure…um…you were all right…,”
“I’m fine!” Urahara nearly squeaked, pushing past the taller man only to freeze as he stared down at his futon. All the lube was still out, his vibrator sat on top of the sheets, and the entire bed was a complete mess. The gods hated him…absolutely hated him. This was some kind of cruel punishment for his supposed crimes.
“Yes sir,” Tessai mumbled, moving towards the bedroom door while pointedly not looking at the futon. Kisuke refused to look at him, staring at his wall (the one covered with pictures of the kids, old pictures of Isshin and Yoruichi, pictures of Ichigo), willing the deep blush to go away.
“Boss?” Tessai opened the door and stepped through.
“Yes?” Kisuke answered, forcing his voice to be calmer than he felt.
“Am I to assume that we’ll be making lubricant sometime in the next few weeks?”
“Tessai?”
“Yes sir?”
“Shut the door.”
Thank you
chibicoffee for helping me come up with the title! You are a master pervert!! Rainbow Division 4-EVER!!XOXOXOXOXOXOXX
Cherry
